Friday, June 24, 2011

10 Movies I Can't Believe I Paid Money To See In The Theater

10. Striptease (1996) – Even 90-minutes of watching Demi Moore’s boobs flop around didn’t save it.  

9. Dangerous Minds (1995) – I was more ghetto than the kids in that movie.

8. Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003) – Not my fault… my wife was 38-weeks pregnant with twins, it was 150-degrees outside and we didn’t have central air.

7. Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (2003) – See #8 above

6. Hulk (2003) – See #s 7 & 8 above

5. The Crow (1994) – If you offered $1 Million, I couldn’t tell you what it’s about. All I remember is the girl I was there with jostling me awake at the end.

4. The Object of My Affection (1998) – The female lead was played by Jennifer Aniston… ‘nuff said.

3. Bride of Chucky (1998) – My wife and I had been dating for about a year when I chose this debacle. It was the only time I ever thought we’d break-up.

2. Take Me Home Tonight (2011) – She wanted to see The King’s Speech; I wanted to see the movie with the Eddie Money song in the title. Unfortunately, I won.

1. The Real Cancun (2003) – I can’t bear to explain it… you’ll have to look it up yourself: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0360916/

Reviewing this list, I would be remiss to omit the fact that my amazing wife was present for seven – yes, seven – of these indisputable clunkers; and although I hold no doubt she will use this list as evidence of my less than stellar taste in movies, I need only remind her of one simple yet poignant fact:

SHE was the one who saw From Justin to Kelly… not me.

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