Over the years I have realized that people who go around quoting the Godfather fall into one of two categories: 1) the ninety percent of the population that only knows “leave the gun, take the cannoli,” or 2) the obsessive-compulsive elites who have managed to integrate even the most obscure Godfather quotes into their daily vernacular much to the annoyance of their spouses, co-workers and friends.
Unfortunately for my spouse, co-workers and friends, I fall among the later. Fortunately for me, though, I work for a couple of guys who appreciate The Godfather as much as I do... which inspired my patented list of Godfather Quotes for Use in the Modern Workplace:
10. Your secretary complains about having to work on Columbus Day/Veteran’s Day/Arbor Day/et cetera… so you politely let her know: “That’s the price you pay for the life you choose.” (Michael to Vincent, Part III)
9. The boss hires one of those leadership consultants to come in and give a seminar. When he asks for the definition of teamwork, you raise your hand and shout: “All of our ships must sail in the same direction.” (Don Lucchesi, Part III)
8. You and a co-worker both sleep with the same girl on the same night. The resulting awkwardness leads to an all-out fist-fight at lunch. The boss calls you both into his office; and when you’ve finally worked out your differences, you embrace your co-worker and assure him: “I will not be the one to break the peace we have made here today.” (Vito to Tattaglia, Part I)
7. You’re at a staff meeting, laying-out a rather ambitions agenda for the next quarter. A recalcitrant subordinate yells out “that’s impossible.” So you get very very quiet, then softly announce: “If history has taught us anything… it’s that you can kill anybody.” (Michael to Al Neri, Part II)
6. The guy in the next cubicle over confides in you that he hates, hates, hates his boss. You put a hand on his shoulder and gently reassure him: “Never hate your enemies. It affects your judgment.” (Michael to Vincent, Part III)
5. Your boss starts raving about how great things are at the company. Sales are up, profits are up, shareholders are happy and everyone’s getting a big fat Christmas bonus… so you look at him and matter-of-factly state: “Michael, we’re bigger than U.S. Steel.” (Hyman Roth, Part II)
4. Your boss accuses you of stealing soap from the unisex bathroom. The company’s disciplinary panel hears your case and concludes that you, in fact, did not steal said soap from the unisex bathroom. Upon hearing this news, you spring to your feet and scream: “THIS COMMITTEE OWES AN APOLOGY!” (Tom Hagen, Part II)
3. Your legal affairs office hires a new staff attorney to oversee ethics compliance. You introduce yourself, shake her hand and inform her: “I don’t need any more tough guys. I need. More. Lawyers.” (Michael to Vincent, Part III)
2. An old friend and mentor who helped you get your first job many many years ago asks you do to a favor that you really don’t want to do. You look away and say, resignedly: “You know I’ll do anything for my Godfather.” (Johnny Fontaine, Part I)
1. A back-stabbing, two-faced, double-crossing co-worker comes up to you after a meeting and asks how your sick aunt is doing. You look him straight in the eye and say: “We’re both a part of the same hypocrisy – but never think it applies to my family.” (Michael to Senator Geary, Part II)
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