Worst... Songs...Ever...

This whole new Facebook "post the No. 1 song on the day you were born" craze has brought to light a very disturbing truth: mankind has produced some godawful music. Here are my picks for the ten worst songs ever recorded:  

10. Islands in the Stream (Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton) - I don't care how good his chicken is or how big her knockers are: this song has "goober" written all over it.

9. Afternoon Delight (Starland Vocal Band) - A dumb song with a catchy tune that grates in your head for days... a deadly combination!

8. From a Distance (Bette Midler) - Typical 80's "I want to save the world" sap-fest; and it gets extra points for the hideously obvious extra note in the second verse.

7. All Out of Love (Air Supply) - Its not easy to pick the single worst Air Supply song, but this one does take the cake.

6. Let Her In (John Travolta) - He should have stuck to dancing... and acting... (and Scientology, for that matter).

5. Teen Angel (Mark Dinning) - While looking for her boyfriend's ring, a teenage girl gets smashed to pieces by a charging locomotive... yeah - I can see how this one really got 'em dancin' at those 50's sock-hops.

4. Muskrat Love (Captain & Tennille) - Its a song about two muskrats in love. Seriously: I'm not lying.

3. I Am Woman (Helen Reddy) - A horrific song only made worse by its resurrection in the 2010 mega-flop Sex & The City 2.

2. Sometimes When We Touch (Dan Hill) - About a minute in a half into this song I feel like shouting: "just jump already and get it over with!"

1. You Light Up My Life (Debbie Boone) - As if being related to Pat Boone isn't bad enough, her one and only hit was/is this ultimate clunker. I would rather sit home and shove pins into my eyeballs than listen to it.

Of course irony being what it is, Debbie Boone's debacle was indeed the No. 1 song on the day I was born. Go figure!