What if...?

My wife and I took this picture of our five kids last weekend on a visit to the University of Connecticut:

Over the last twenty years, UConn has become one of the top public universities in the country, not to mention the "College Basketball Capitol of the World". I hold two degrees from this fine institution, I was the editor of the campus newspaper, and I was front-and-center that magical Monday night in 1999 when Coach Calhoun hoisted his/our first-ever NCAA Championship trophy in Tropicana Field... but more than anything else, UConn is where I met my wife.

We have known each other for 14 years, have been married for 11, and have five wonderful children - and when I look at this picture, I can't help think of the improbable things that had to have happened in order to bring us to this point in our lives. Yes, it sounds kinda Doc-Brown-Back-to-the-Future-ish, but think about it: at some point in October of 1997, I'm sure I stumbled drunk past this very statue, sorting through the dozens and dozens of girls' phone numbers that were voluntarily thrown at me at that night's array of parties... yet 14 years later there we were taking this picture. The time in between was and is filled with countless "what ifs".

What if she aced freshman chemistry and remained a nursing major instead of switching to journalism?

What if I didn't wander over to the campus newspaper looking for a job my freshman year?

What if her dumbass high school sweetheart hadn't broken up with her over the summer?

What if Billy had in fact beeped the horn of his car, demanding we leave that silly party before I had a chance to talk to her?

What if she said no?

What if she got sick of me?

What if she didn't have a genetic predisposition to release more than one egg per month?

What if we decided to stop after two?

What if we decided to stop after three?

The picture of my kids reminds me of that picture of Marty McFly and his siblings - the one that starts to fade bit by bit as he changes history, as he alters the "what ifs". But since I don't have a time-traveling DeLorean, the only conclusion I can draw is that life is some ironic mixture of free-will, divine intervention, and good old-fashioned luck.

I could drive myself crazy thinking about all the things that could have gone differently, that could have gone wrong... but in the end, I am where I am.

And for that, I'm eternally grateful.